By Eamonn Ryan
As if cold chain operators didn’t have enough to worry about, now add drunken, hooligan captains to the list.
Just when you thought delivering a container full of temperature-sensitive avocados across the Atlantic couldn’t get any more stressful, along comes a plot twist straight out of a maritime sitcom: Captain Jack ‘Sparrowed’, allegedly steering a 333-metre cargo ship while absolutely marinated.
The Liberian-flagged MSC Jubilee IX, loaded with who-knows-how-many tons of exports – in this instance fortunately not perishables – was en route to Seattle when a Puget Sound Pilot aboard the vessel noticed something was… off. Possibly the captain’s singing voice, possibly the fact that he was navigating the ship like he was wrestling the Cape Doctor with one hand and a Castle in the other.
According to reports, the captain was showing clear signs of intoxication – presumably the kind that makes you call everyone “matey” and ask the engine room if they’ve got any biltong. The pilot, demonstrating levels of calm usually reserved for bomb disposal experts and kindergarten teachers, quietly took the wheel along with the ship’s first mate and safely guided the container ship to Terminal 5 at the Port of Seattle.
Enter: the breathalyser
Cue suspense, and the Coast Guard boarding team stepping in with their official ‘You shall not pass’ paperwork. One quick blow into the machine later, and boom – our captain turned out to be six times over the legal limit for commercial mariners. Yes, six. Not one, not two – six.
Apparently, that’s enough to get you arrested on land and sea. The Coast Guard Investigative Service (CGIS) promptly escorted our nautical party animal to King County Jail, where prosecutors were handed a case of ‘boating under the influence’.
Meanwhile, the vessel was detained until a relief captain – presumably sober, preferably not smelling like rum – could be sourced. With Captain Tipple ashore and out of the picture, the ship was finally cleared to carry on with its mission.
CGIS praised the pilot’s swift action for preventing what could’ve been a disastrous cocktail of maritime chaos and sunken treasure.
And so, as cold chain operators already juggle dodgy customs, port delays, reefer unit failures, power outages and the eternal mystery of “who unplugged container 246B,” we now add: “Drunken master at the helm” to the list of existential threats.
Stay frosty out there. Literally.